Melissa Erin Monahan, M.A., LCAT

New York State Licensed Psychotherapist

Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in "The One"

Certified Transformative Relationship Coach

Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (NATC)


MKV Feather

Conscious Uncoupling

Transformative Relationship Coaching

"The idea of my life as a fairy tale is itself a fairy tale." 
~ Grace Kelly

"I know my ex-husband was meant to be the father of my children,

and I know my current husband is meant to be the person I grow very old with.

Conscious Uncoupling lets us recognise those two different loves can coexist

and nourish each other."

~ Gwyneth Paltrow

British Vogue, September 2020

Based on the New York Times best-selling book

by Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT

Conscious Uncoupling™ is...

Leaf A 5-Step process for how to end a romantic union in honorable, gracious and respectful ways;

Leaf A step-by-step road map for how to break up in a way that does minimal damage to all involved;

Leaf A clear guide for how separating couples can create new, cooperative, life-affirming agreements and structures that set everyone up to win moving forward.

Gwyneth Paltrow

introduces Conscious Uncoupling

Gwyneth Paltrow Letter

Conscious Uncoupling was made internationally famous in 2014 when Gwyneth Paltrow and her former husband, musician Chris Martin, used the term to announce their separation. 

In addition to being a New York Times bestseller, Conscious Uncoupling is a step-by-step private coaching process that empowers an individual to navigate their separation or divorce with love and kindness ---words not typically used to describe a breakup.   

The goal of a Conscious Uncoupling is never to sever the relationship. 

Many come to the work with a desire to remain friends and, especially if they share children, cooperative co-parents.

However,

when antagonism and narcissistic abuse

are part of a relational dynamic,

a loving approach requires the ability to hold

a profoundly self-valuing, wise and discerning complexity. 

In essence,

the "normal" rules of a relationship do not apply.

Through gentle psychoeducation

and an antagonism-informed approach,

you will be supported to transform

and individuate through

the Conscious Uncoupling process

while also healing from any narcissistic abuse you may be experiencing.

Conscious Uncoupling, 

Self-Love Mastery  

and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse 

  Melissa is a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (NATC)

trained by Dr. Ramani Durvasula,

the world's leading narcissism expert

and New York Times bestselling author

of "It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People."

  From an antagonism informed approach, 

she uniquely and powerfully infuses the Conscious Uncoupling process

with narcissism awareness and, when appropriate,

partnership around healing from these pervasive and toxic dynamics. 

   As a private coaching structure, Conscious Uncoupling begins with a formal (hour) introductory session.

  If we decide the work is a fit for you at this time, what follows is a profoundly   transformative process designed to release the trauma of a breakup, reclaim your   power and reinvent your life. 

  You will be supported to heal painful relationship patterns as you begin to master   the invaluable (and practical) skills of unconditional self-love.

 You will also be guided to powerfully transform breakup grief and step into the   highest---and most authentic---version of yourself. 

 What may otherwise be a time of heartache and suffering becomes an   opportunity for unprecedented growth, individuation and even joy. 


Private Conscious Uncoupling Coaching Step-by-Step


Conscious Uncoupling Creed

Step One:

Finding Emotional Freedom

  ~The first step in your Conscious Uncoupling process is to learn how to harness   the energies of the wildly dark and difficult emotions you may be experiencing   such as rage, hatred, fear, anxiety and despair.

  ~You will learn how to transform difficult emotions from destructive impulses to   hurt yourself or others into constructive drivers of positive change.

  ~In this step, you will create the conditions for liberation beyond your old painful   patterns  in love.

  ~You will awaken to your power to radically evolve how you live and how you   love.


Step Two:

Reclaiming Your Power & Your Life

~In step two of your Conscious Uncoupling process, you'll let go of being a wounded victim of love.

~ You will shift your perspective away from blaming and shaming yourself (and others) to take personal responsibility for your part in what happened.

~You will identify the major way (or ways) you have been self-abandoning up until now. 

~By doing so, you'll begin to compassionately understand yourself as the source of your own suffering in a way that liberates you from ever repeating this dynamic again.

~You will be empowered to evolve beyond your disappointing patterns in love.

Step Three:

Breaking the Pattern, Healing Your Heart

~In step three of your Conscious Uncoupling process, you'll be supported to see your "Source Fracture" story clearly.  

~You will understand how an unconscious false belief is at the root of your repetitive and painful relationship patterns.

~You will begin to develop your spiritually-connected loving adult self. 

~You will access your own personal source of unconditional love, wisdom, worthiness and guidance. 

~Perhaps for the first time, you will access the deeper truth of who you are. 

~You will identify new ways of being and relating that are in alignment with the deeper truth of who you are. 

Step Four:

Becoming a Love Alchemist

 ~In step four of your Conscious Uncoupling process, you'll awaken to yourself as a   powerful co-creator of your life.  

 ~Steeped in practicality, you will learn how to generate a positive future for   yourself, as well as others, no matter how hurtful or hard things have been until   now.

 ~You will be empowered to make choices and take actions that promise to   graduate you from the painful patterns of your past.

 ~You will learn how to radically transform the dynamic between you and your   former partner to reflect the truth of your value and power.

 ~In this step, you will also ensure that the life you're embracing will be greater than   the one you're releasing.

Step Five:

Creating Your Happily Even After Life

 ~In the fifth and final step of your Conscious Uncoupling process, you will be   supported to make wise, healthy and life-affirming decisions as you take on the   essential tasks of reinventing your life.

 ~You will set up vital new structures that allow you (and all involved) to thrive   after this transition.

 ~No longer consumed by the loss of a love relationship, you will begin to access the   beautiful life that is waiting for you on the other side of this grief.

 ~You will be guided in becoming an authentic and self-loving version of yourself   ready to navigate the dynamic with your former partner and (if this is the desire)   unprecedented new love. 

Private sessions are conducted on phone, Zoom

or FaceTime. 

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